Talabheim United

[Cicuit]

-Just minutes ago, we saw coach Jaskier and his Tomb Kings lifting the trophy after narrowly beating Talabheim United, 1-0. Talabheim defended very well, but the hired star player, Cotozaliga, managed to score in the very last moment of the first half. Talabheim hired a star player of their own, but Przyloz did not achieve such a feat. Mister Morranion, would you agree that Cotozaliga won this star showdown?
-I personally wouldn't. Przyloz was hired to target opposition throwers, which he did. I have no idea how does one stab a skeleton, but Przyloz did. He stole the ball not once, but twice, and was open to receive a throw to score. The ratman, or whatever race he belongs, did all he could.
-If it wasn't for Przyloz, then what was the reason that you lost?
-As much as it hurts to say, their team was in a better condition. We had lost many good men along the way and could not fully replace the fallen players. The new guys, as talented as they are, simply do not possess all the skills necessary to play on such high level. The only times when the Tomb Guardians fell down is when they failed to block themselves. Otherwise, it was very difficult to break through their well guarded lines.
-With that game, the season concludes. Do you have any plans for the next season?
-I feel like we built a great base for the future. The talented rookies of today will turn into real stars tomorrow. I understand that we can't keep our biggest stars, so we'll have to say goodbye to Mark and wish him the best in his new club. What we proved with this deep run in the playoffs is that Talabheim is a city full of untapped potential, so I'm sure we can build a team that is capable of lifting the trophy.
-Mister Morranion, thank you for this season. We'll wait in anticipation for the next campaign. Talabheim will always remember this moment.

R.I.P. Bal Otel-Troll, who could not live with the shame of losing

[Jaskier]

i am curious a bit @Cicuit.

Did you take Przyłóż because you tought that I took him and you wanted to counter my pick (as he would play for neither team) or you just wanted Przyłóż for yourself?

[Cicuit]

I wanted a fast agile player in case you wouldn't pick up the ball. So it was a choice between Przyloz and Japanese Chestnut. Settled on Przyloz because he had stab and would be good against low armor.

[Cicuit]

Talabheim United pre-season press conference

-Good evening! Mister Morranion, last season proved your novelty of combining human and dwarf players together. Talabheim United went all the way to the final and now is considered an elite squad by fans and experts. Coach, do you think that it will be more difficult to surprise your opponents, now that they have to study your tactics more thoroughly?
-I would not be called a special one if I had only one strategy. Our team evolves, and so do our tactics. Last season, we focused our development on strength skills, building our players into juggernauts with strong punches. This season may require a completely different approach. I am not willing to reveal my secrets today.
-Besides dwarves and humans, Talabheim United fielded a tree in your inaugural season. We all expected you to hire an ogre, since we have plenty of them in Talabheim. You said you can make it work, and you kept the promise. But now, surely you are buying an ogre, now that the tree can walk away?
-Please, refer to them as Eric. We had a conversation with Eric and they expressed the will to stay.
-Oh my, a sentient treeman in Talabheim! We are witnessing a truly legendary phenomenon. Mister Morranion, have you met a Zoat, by any chance?
-Zoats, darling. Multiple.
-Excuse me, are you a…
-No, no, of course not.
-Alright, mister Morranion, give us mere imperial mortals some time to process all this. Thank you very much for this press conference, we will be waiting in anticipation for Talabheim United and Eldril, excuse me, Eric to win the trophy in the following season. Good luck!

[Cicuit]

-Talabheim United kicked off the season with a defeat to a Norscan side. Coach Morranion, last season you bragged about figuring out the norse teams. It seems like the old wolves still got new tricks for you? Could you tell us what went wrong?
-These weren't the usual norsemen. They are miners, hardened by labor. They are used to hold pickaxes firmly in their hands. So this norse team was surprisingly good at catching the ball. They won every rebound, while we struggled to pick up the ball when it was laying on the ground. We definitely could learn a lot from todays opponent. Or maybe their hands were covered in boar blood to make them sticky. Have you seen any beer boars today? I have not.
-This was the first game with a renewed roster. Have you missed any players in particular? Perhaps Mark Rash, who is now one of Nuffle's chosen?
-We certainly could use some of his skills. We had two perfect opportunities to remove the key players of our opponents. The old squad was much more capable with fouling, I am sure that Mark would be able to do the job.
-Speaking of old guard, Eric the Treeman had a great game personally. Two injuries in one game, multiple successful ball sacks and a team-mate throw, they were easily the best player in the team. What did they have to say after the game.
-Eric said that they had a lot of great moments, but their favorite was taking roots in fresh soil on our stadium. They also had a good laugh observing their team mates trying and failing to foul the opponents. Eric found it so ridiculous that they kept mocking the players by imitating their futile attempts. I think Eric has become quite good at it.
-Well, season hasn't started the way we wanted, but there is plenty of time to bounce back. Coach, Talabheim is hungry for victories, do not disappoint!

Eric learned Pile Driver
Phil Jones learned Safe Pair of Hands

[DamianO]

`` Or maybe their hands were covered in boar blood to make them sticky. Have you seen any beer boars today? ``

Crazy xD

[Cicuit]

Talabheim United locker room, post game analysis

-After studying our game yesterday, I came to conclusion. We are lacking a captain. The true leader that everyone is gathered around, -said Coach Morranion. Last season it was Ferdinand, the blitzer, and after his death it was Mark, the thrower.
-I am a blitzer, and I am the semi-final MVP, dare I remind you. I saved the club when it was most necessary. There's a reason they call me Wout the Best!
Morranion frowned.
-I saved the club's academy by promoting you to the main team. Your ego was so big, your teammates hoped you would die on the field the very first game. Remember your previous nickname? No way I am making you the captain. I can't make our thrower Paolo a captain too. He is not even allowed to show his face on camra!
-Hey, there aren't only humans in this team! We dwarves put the same input as humans, but you always put us on shit positions. Eden has been with the club since the very beginning, why not make him a captain. But of course you wouldn't, -said frustrated Mario Felony.
-I am a disgrace to dwarven race. I could not save my brother, Bal has died, all because I couldn't do my job. I am so ashamed of myself,- cried Eden and started quietly singing something depressing.
-Right, let's leave Eden alone for now, he is going through something. But you are correct, we are a multiracial team, everyone is respected here equally. Captain must possess experience and wisdom. Eric has displayed these qualities,- said Morranion.
-The tree? He is barely walking! He just stands around and sleeps all day. He does it right now! Do we have to just gather around him or something?- yelled Wout. Eric opened their eyes.
-When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea,- said Eric and closed their eyes again.
-...
-Well, that settles it. Eric is now the team captain.

Eric re-learned Guard instead of Pile Driver

[Cicuit]

-Another game against Tomb Kings, another tough match. This time, however, it's a draw. Talabheim United took the lead after Paolo passed the ball to Wout, and the blitzer outran the overcommitted opponent. Victory was close, but Sosu, the skeleton lineman, managed to catch the ball after poor job from his teammate, and scored in the very last minute. Mister Morranion, do you think that a win was obtainable?
-When they could not pick up the ball, we got a bit carried away. We tried to take Sosu down, but our player was too eager and he pushed Sosu towards our touchzone. The victory was indeed very close, but the players got too excited. We will have to work more on our discipline.
-That is certainly a problem that rookies often have. Luckily, Talabheim United has a captain who never loses their cool. Eric had another strong performance, removing two Tomb Kings from the play. The injury in the end of first half looked especially nasty. Does Eric has something personal against Tomb Guardians?
-The enemy has injured their son. Of course Eric was angry. His son is completely fine now, which can not be said about that guardian. Imagine what would Eric do if their son suffers a worse injury? Stay away from Son, it's better for your own safety!
-Thank you for the interview. Unfortunate start for Talabheim United, and with shorter seasons the team must get back to winning track right now. The pressure is mounting, mister Morranion.

Paolo Diabolo learned Kick

[Cicuit]

-It is another hard fought draw in the Old World Trafford tonight. Talabheim United had a chance to take a victory after a wildly inaccurate pass from the opposition orc thrower. The ball was free, and Wout managed to pick it up. Opponents blocked the blitzer from scoring on his own, but coach Morranion signaled to his team that Laurence Evian, the dwarven runner, was free to score. Laurence, who scored the first touchdown today, broke through the opposition, but tripped in the closing moment of the match. Coach Morranion, we see that the team understands your tactical ideas well, but often fails to execute them when needed. In your opinion, why is this happening?
-It is a psychological thing. We are constantly playing more physically strong opponents, like orcs and tomb kings. We tried to overcome it by sticking together, and even brought an orc of our own, but that plan did not work, and neither did that orc. Things are looking good when we are in a mass fight, but in a one on one we simply can't compete. Such game is very draining both physically and mentally, so when Laurence had to score the second goal, he was already out of breath. We hired a psychologist to help the players battle their fears, so hopefully in the future we will be better in hand to hand combat.
-The future does not look bright, with the remaining two teams being orcs and chaos chosen, both known for their physical strength. Talabheim United is in the last place in league, and draws would not be enough for Talabheim to make it to the play-off. The team really needs to step in, otherwise the second season of mister Morranion as the coach could become a total disaster. The hopes were so high, are they destined to crumble? Time will tell.

Laurence Evian learned Dauntless
Roy Keen learned Dauntless

[Cicuit]

-Right when they needed, they delivered! Talabheim United crushed their opposition 3-0. The game felt like the team has released all of their built up frustration on poor unsuspected orcs. Coach Morranion, is the grand plan finally working?
-Yes, I would say so. We played to our strong sides: Paolo's kick-offs were on point, Phil and the lads were dodging whenever we needed, we managed to do everything I wanted us to do.
-I'd still like to spoil your victory a little bit: Laurence has tripped over the endzone again. Luckily for us, the goblin opponent did not pick the ball in time and the Rusty Boyz were punished. But it is unacceptable to make mistakes like these on the professional level. Are you and Laurence working on it?
-Well, it seems like it's not a psychological thing after all. Dwarves are not really meant to run, I guess it is against their nature. Laurence said they are a runner, so probably lied in CV. They can punch well, but not run it seems. So I decided to train Wout on ball handling as well, in case we need a fast touchdown. Three different players scored today, so we are very versatile when it comes to scoring. If one fails, the other can cover.
-With that crucial win, Talabheim United looks prime to fight for the play-off spots. Is Morranion the chosen one, or the chosen take him down?

Wout the Best learned Sure Hands
Phil Jones learned Diving Catch