The Many Faces of Joseph Morranion

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The Many Faces of Joseph Morranion

Post autor: Cicuit » 30 maja 2023, 21:41

-Hello and welcome, dear Cabalvision viewers! I am your host, Christina von Kielholz, and today we have a special guest! Please welcome head coach of Talabheim United, mister Joseph Morranion!

Camra pans to Joseph, sitting comfortably in his armchair.

-Mister Morranion, you are a man with stellar coaching pedigree. Many of us wonder, where did it all begin? Was it Altdorf, the home of many great Blood Bowl teams, or maybe it was a team from mysterious and magical Ulthuan?
-No no, it was much more trivial than this. The first team that I coached was a local team from a small Estalian village. They were all relatives, but they all hated each other so much, they refused to share the ball. They all played however they wanted. One big guy did not even bother standing on his feet, as long as he brought opponent down, all was good to him. And in case you're wondering, magic didn't happen. I lost my first game as a coach, one of many losses I had in my career. Even the greatest have to start somewhere, so don't give up if you fail at first, success comes only to those who don't quit.
-Very inspiring story, mister Morranion! We can't wait to hear more about your early days, but that's all we got for today. Stay tuned!

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Re: The Many Faces of Joseph Morranion

Post autor: Avreus » 14 cze 2023, 14:49

can't wait for more :)
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Re: The Many Faces of Joseph Morranion

Post autor: Cicuit » 02 lip 2023, 21:02

-Mister Morranion, once again, congratulations on making it to the final! In the final, you are facing coach Jaskier and his fearsome Tomb Kings. The viewers are curious, have you played against coach Jaskier before?
-As a matter of fact, I have. His team was have made all the way from the Kingdom of Ind. They had a quick stop in Estalia before going further to Ulthuan. They arranged a few games with local teams, mine was included. It was quite a sight: a bunch of hillbillies against exotic guests from a land far away. They even had an elephant man!
-Oh, the battle of the greatest tactical masterminds of our time! It must have been a pure pleasure for the crowd.
-Eh, let's say I was far from a genius you know me today. Thinking about that game, I was more lucky than anything. The guests must have been fatigued by a long travel, so they weren't in their physical peak. When it comes to me, mind you I was a boy from a small village who never seen such creatures before. So frankly I was a viewer more than a coach that day. Me and Jaskier played many more games since, but I'm sure he's still a bit grumpy about our first encounter. Final is going to be a bloodbath.

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Re: The Many Faces of Joseph Morranion

Post autor: Cicuit » 24 lip 2023, 18:17

-Coach Morranion, we've heard rumors that you plan to rotate some of Talabheim United players positions. Our scouts reported that on trainings Marco Kreuss, the main catcher of Talabheim, is spending a lot of time on the line of scrimmage. On the other hand, Phil Jones enjoys more freedom and now spearheads the offense. Do players often change their profile, or is it a Morranion Special?
-Let me tell you a story from years ago, from my Estalia times. We were playing a team from Zandria. Khemrian teams are not known for their ball playing abilities, so our plan was to trade ball as often as possible. But the plan immediately backfired, as our catcher Salvador simply did not want to receive the ball from thrower. I asked him:
"What's the problem?"
Salvador said:
"Do you know who this bastard thrower is? He is a dirty man, all the village knows about him. I would rather smear myself with mud than touch the same ball this pendejo touched!"
So, I threw a small pebble into our thrower, causing him to drop the ball.
"See, the ball is in the mud now. Go on, enjoy yourself."
Salvador proudly picked the ball and rushed all the way to the touchzone. We scored. Zandri scored back. We had very little time to win the game, and only a pass would help. Before the kick-off, I called Salvador:
"Salvador, do you know about air friction?"
Salvador, who just like most members of the team didn't know how to read, shook his head.
"You see, when the ball is in the air, it does not fly freely. It goes up, and then down. Which means, air resists the ball. It causes friction, just like you rub two rocks against each other to make fire. So, air rubs off all the filth from the ball, so when you catch it, there are no fingerprints from the thrower. So you can catch it. Got it?"
To this day, I don't know if Salvador really understood what I said, but he did catch the ball. And we won the game. Why am I telling you this? All players are unique, and it is not always obvious where and how they should play. As a coach, you should help the player to understand themselves and make them better.

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Re: The Many Faces of Joseph Morranion

Post autor: Cicuit » 05 wrz 2023, 22:17

-Last day of the season is always nervous, right? So many games need to go in your way, it really is only the in the will of Nuffle to grant you the results you need. Mister Morranion, who did you sacrifice to Nuffle in your first season?
-Oh, I was not really thinking that deep when I was a young lad. I did not look at the table back then. My goal was to win the game, the rest is, as you say, in Nuffle's hands. Does Nuffle have hands? Anyway. Our last game was against some con artists who presented themselves as elves, but I don't think they were elves. I think they were just very skinny pale humans. They didn't play like elves, that's for sure. Elves are dodgy, and these guys were falling after every tackle. They couldn't pass either. My very "down to earth" Estalians could pass better than them. In fact, Arcadio and Salvador have become quite consistent with passes. I heard they play as a duo to this day. You know, at the end of the day, the game is secondary. The most important thing of being a team is becoming friends. Maybe we have not become a better team, but we have become better people. When I started, the players all hated each other. And now there is no family as strong as them. Championship only lasts one year, friendship lasts forever.

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Re: The Many Faces of Joseph Morranion

Post autor: Cicuit » 19 gru 2023, 17:51

-Good morning my dear and lovely citizens of Talabheim! Christina von Kielholz here! Several days ago, we witnessed our hometown heroes suffering a defeat at the hands of coach Jaskier's Amazons. The head coach of Talabheim United, Joseph Morranion, expressed his dissatisfaction with the squad's management. Please, we welcome mister Morranion to the show today!

Live audience applauses.

-Coach Morranion, you were rather harsh on the managerial decisions made by the board of directors. We've heard rumors that you and the bosses can't agree on the vision for the team's future. I am going to be honest, I am not that big on Blood Bowl, so I'll leave the analytics to the specialists. I am much more interested in your persona. Joseph, how often does a coach have to work with a stubborn employers, and how to deal with it?

-Oh, you call this stubborn? Believe me, this is far from the worst working coniditions I have seen. This reminds me of one of my first ever contracts, back when I was a young aspiring coach. I was once offered a lucrative contract with a skaven team. You lot here probably know near nothing about their society. Eshin, Skryre, what gives? I didn't bother either. They promised that player influx will not be a problem, and you know how it is with rats, if you got at least one runner remaining, it's pretty much a guaranteed win. So I figured that I can easily take them to play-offs and perhaps even win the whole thing. Well, I very quickly had to learn that Hell Pit is not just a cool stadium name. Things I have seen here while working for Clan Moulder are perhaps the main reason for my grey hair. (laughs) So, unless Talabheim's bosses decide to sell me as a slave, I definitely wouldn't put them as my worst employers ever.

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Re: The Many Faces of Joseph Morranion

Post autor: Cicuit » 01 lut 2024, 00:11

Bilbali State Hospital, Psychologist's Room

-Mister Morranion, thank you for coming today. Recognizing that you need help is the first step towards healing. When did the panic attacks begin?

-You know, when I was in Hell Pit, I was terrified at first. I have seen many horrible creatures beyong my imagination. Two-headed rats, blue chaos spawns, I once even saw a hand with no body! I tried to distance myself from those creatures, pretended that they are monsters with no feelings and consciousness. But the more I stayed around these skaven, the more I understood them. Inside those mutilated bodies, there were souls. Petrified and shattered souls. They were not just drones and throtlings, they were living beings!

-Of course they are. I suspect you were very upset about how they are treated in the underworld, am I right?

-Oh, you don't get it. It was way worse here, in the Old World. In Hell Pit, nobody respects mutants, but at least nobody freaks out when they see one. We had a game in Albion against the knights. Have you ever been to Albion?

-I have.

-So you must know that for the most part locals are regular humans like you and me. I was excited to see someone familiar to me at last, but humans did not like me. I could see it in their eyes. They were screaming at my team: “Kill them! Kill them!” They did not care about the game, they just wanted to kill the ones they were calling monsters. Even though skaven were more afraid of them. I saw it, but no one else did. Poor things were hiding, dropping the ball just to stop being the center of attention. The knights killed one skaven, injured more, there was so much blood! That's when I had a panic attack. There were almost no players left. I froze. I could not speak, could not make calls. I knew this muscular slave rat was not in the right position, but I just couldn't warn him. We lost the game, and we lost another player. I could not sleep that night. I was feeling guilty for not being collected enough. A person died because of me.

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Re: The Many Faces of Joseph Morranion

Post autor: Cicuit » 14 lut 2024, 23:18

-Have you gained weight, mister Morranion? Looking better than the last time we met.

-Thank you. Yeah, I am finally returning to my normal weight. Food in Hell Pit is rather scarce, and pretty awful if I am being honest. Slaves here often resort to cannibalism. It made me sick. I had no appetite, so I trained myself to only eat when I am starting to feel weak. Whenever we got away games, players were more excited about the stadium cafeteria, rather than the game itself. You know, people always say how malnourished Moulder players are, but by clan's standards they are rather well-fed. 3% body fat, that's good for a skaven, right? I remember playing against a halfling team. Tiny, soft, easily chewable halflings. Poor things had to cook on the field, literally throw cakes at rats, so that only they would leave them alone. I've never seen bits of raw flesh being eaten before. Just the thought of a player, a sentient creature, being eaten, does not compute in my head. And after the game, skaven behaved like nothing happened. I swear, I have not touched meat since.

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Re: The Many Faces of Joseph Morranion

Post autor: Cicuit » 05 mar 2024, 11:36

-What do you see in this image?

-Angry rat ogre face.

-Ok. What about this one?

-Rat ogre on a rampage.

-I see. Mister Morranion, would you say you are afraid of rat ogres?

-Yes, I do.

-Well, they are scary looking, that's true. I thought you would not be afraid of them, considering that you described skaven positively during our sessions.

-I like them. Doesn't mean I am not afraid of them. And that I am not afraid for them. We had a game against amazon sisterhood. We were low on players, and I knew that if I put slaves on the line of scrimmage, we will have no players left. So I ordered the rat ogres to get into fight. It was a bad call, as we were overwhelmed. All the rat ogres fell, and we lost the game. I went to the locker room to cheer up the team. As I walked, I saw slaves and throtlings running away. When I opened the door, the bench flew into my direction. Ryker was on a rampage, destroying anything on his way.

-Ryker, you're not guity that we lost. You fought well.

-Not well enough.

-Don't worry about it. We'll get them next time.

Ryker looked at me. He was sullen and terrified. He showed me his shoulder. It was smashed into pieces. You don't have to be a medical specialist to understand that this is a career ending injury. That's when it hit me. Ryker will no longer play Blood Bowl. Where does a discontinued rat ogre go after sport? Where do skaven in general go after they can no longer perform their duties. No matter what they do, how well they work, all is left of them is meat. I felt angry. I kicked the bench. I punched the wall. We thrashed the locker room. Me and Ryker, for the last time.

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Re: The Many Faces of Joseph Morranion

Post autor: Avreus » 05 mar 2024, 13:08

I feel really sad for Ryker
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